To err is human; to forgive is erm…difficult??

  I always shudder at the thought of forgiving people, that’s why I always pray that the ones I love the most don’t hurt me but “to err is human…” I guess.

I used to harbour so much anger and resentment inside of me. My mum would advise me countlessly, when she saw that it wasn’t working, she began hurling insults at me… talking about how dry my body was because I held so much grudges. I was later forced to go for spiritual counseling and deliverance according to her, the spirit of anger had made my heart its dwelling place. It seemed so easy to just hold grudges, especially when I was justifiably hurt.

        Over the years, I’ve learnt that resentment is not part of the “anger” family. It is rather part of the “envy” family. You’re envious of how the person was audacious enough to hurt you that way and you can’t even do same. It’s the audacity of the person that cultivates the feeling of resentment.

Some people say “I’ve forgiven you” without meaning it, they probably swear for you before going to bed every night. Some people say it because they want to mean it, they feel so much hurt and feel that the first step to healing is saying it, believing that it would do the magic.

         There’s a very thin line between forgiving and forgetting. If I forgive someone and I have not forgotten what the person did, sometimes I still feel that hurt or anger caused by what the person did whenever I remember it.

In some other cases, I’d not really feel anything when I remember it.

Whenever I remember it and I feel that hurt or anger, I like to think that I haven’t forgiven that person because self-deceit is destructive. When I’m in such situation, I pray that “God should help me forgive others the way He forgives me.”

In as much as we are humans with the power of retention, total forgiveness is something that I believe is feasible.

To a reasonable extent, I believe that those who commit heinous crimes should be given at least a chance at restitution.

Without a doubt, I’d love to see longer sentences or mandatory castration for rape or any form of sexual abuse and death sentences for murderers (not me getting specific, lol) but Matthew 5:39 put a halt to my desires. It says, “… but I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.”

It is difficult to do as the Bible says in this context because these law offenders might misuse the opportunity to commit even worse crimes. (not me ignoring the fact that in the eyes of the Lord, there’s no such thing as a “bigger” crime or sin).

Some of us have the ability to forgive, easily but sometimes the people we forgive just hurt us, again and again. Then it becomes really hard to forgive because the hurt and resentment breaks the trust we had in these people. (I don’t know what to call them, lol).

Some people have used the existence of “I’m sorry” and the word of God as a ground to hurt people several times and if they don’t forgive, they’re not good Christians.

Little wonder why some people will forgive you and still cut ties with you or keep you at arm’s length because they don’t want room for more hurt.

Someone once said to me, “if you have truly forgiven her, you won’t cut her off” and I beg to differ. Some people see forgiveness as an attribute of weakness because sometimes it just looks like you are letting people get away with shitty behavior and they’ll keep doing it. If you really hurt me, I’d try to forgive you and most certainly keep you at arm’s length.

The word of God is sometimes a hard pill to swallow. The mere thought that we will have to forgive these wicked acts, it’s mind-boggling mehnn. It’s even more crazy that it is humans like us who do these unbelievable things but then, we are not bad people. We are people who just do bad things sometimes.

      Sometimes, I think of how much we have sinned against God and I know for a fact that if He was human like us, we’d all probably be dead by now. As easy as it is to hold a grudge, we should learn to forgive and let go of things that will hinder us from being a better version of ourselves.

           A lot of people are of the opinion that some actions are “unforgivable”.

They’re forgiving but have situations where they’ll draw the line; like your brother killing your mother or sister, your mother burning your passport( I read a similar story, it’s wilddd), your friend sleeping with your father, a man raping his daughter, your friend defrauding you, your abusive husband hitting you etc…so many of us will say it is unforgivable. Nevertheless, I don’t think I want to forgive those people who sat and decided that I should start writing my first semester exams on the 12th of April. I really don’t think I can forgive them. God will understand.

     Do you think some deeds are “unforgivable”?

Drop a comment below…xoxo